Have you ever lied to your family? What were the circumstances?

When she died, I made a generous donation to the hospice, and gave the deceased twin’s share to the surviving twin to make up for all her grief and trouble over the last months, and to repay some of the money that her twin had “borrowed” from her over the years.

At this point my sister, one of the twins, was already terminal. I have written about her before; she was a ne’er-do-well who lived large on borrowed money. She had especially sucked her twin sister dry over the years. She had burned bridges with everyone in her home town, so she was broke and had nowhere to go when she got her diagnosis of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.

There are probably those who would disagree with the decision I made, but I don’t regret it. She had never hesitated to sponge off of other people’s money all her life, and was very lucky that her twin cared enough about her to give her a comfortable end.

Why do so many people suddenly think it's acceptable to continue to live with their parents into adulthood?

If she had not been an erratic spendthrift all her life, I probably would have. There were times in her life that she had done quite well for herself financially (at one point she had a bigger salary than her twin!), but she always spent wildly on incredibly frivolous stuff and then ended up being short on money for rent and food. I feared that she would buy something on credit and have it repossessed (her favorite thing to do), or drugs that would make her even more unreasonable and troublesome. There was also the possibility that she would need palliative care or other medical expenses, or maybe another place to stay if her twin got sick of her shit. I offered to give the share to the healthy twin to pay for the extra expenses, but she preferred to let me hold on to it.

So why didn’t I give her her share, and let her have fun with it, as people have asked me?

I know, it sounds terrible, doesn’t it? But the circumstances were really unusual.

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As my brother’s estate settled, I distributed the equal share of money to the other two sisters, but held back the dying sister’s share. We all agreed that we wouldn’t tell her about the money.

I lost two siblings within six months of each other. My brother, the first to die, named me executor and left each of his four sisters (an older sister, two twin sisters and myself) equal shares from his retirement account—about $30K apiece.

I lied to my dying sister about some money that she inherited.

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In the end she needed none of it. Her twin took care of all her needs, and the last month of her life when she was completely bedridden, she was transferred to a hospice where the staff took care of her for free.

Her twin took her in and took care of her in her last six months. It was chaotic and upsetting for everyone in the family, as the dying sister was quarrelsome and entitled. None of us in the family got along, but the two twins had an especially contentious relationship; as the youngest child in the family, I suffered through some epic family fights through my childhood years. There was the faint hope that maybe dealing with a terminal illness would give the twins a more charitable opinion of each other, but that was not the case.